GELAP

KETIKA kegelapan membenarkan diri

Gelap, silahkan buka aku seluruhnya

Bawa aku pada satu titik keterdalaman tanpa dasar

Jadikan aku begitu pekat

Matikan seluruh cahaya agar kau bisa merenggutku sepenuhnya

Telanjangi malam ini, dan bawa aku menghilang

Telanjangi aku di ruang tanpa Tuhan perlu tahu aku ingin tahu Dia tahu

Tanpa seorang pun tahu, congkel bola mata mereka agar mereka bisa melihat kegelapan

Jerumuskan mereka pada alpa dan hilang, telan mereka bulat bulat saat semua cahaya lelap

Maka mereka akan mencerna kegelapan dalam pikiran mereka

Penggal kepala mereka lalu tekan dan ledakkan! hingga mereka tak mampu menjerit

Biar kau tambah pekat, lekat tak tertembus tanpa keterangan yang mampu menerangkan kegelapan milik kita ini

Gelap, miliki aku seutuhnya

Perangkap aku dalam malam yang erat

Dekap aku, cekik aku tanpa semilir angin mampu kurasa

Hisap tubuh lugu ini hingga lenyap

Kau larikan aku dari Tuhan

Kau jadikan aku penggelap kegelapan

Mari menyatu

Ketika Tuhan menerka nerka

Ketika Tuhan bimbang

Ketika Tuhan tak mampu memutuskan

Ketika Tuhan sama sekali tidak peduli

Ketika Tuhan benar benar sama sekali tidak mau peduli

Ketika Tuhan tidak mau tahu

Ketika Tuhan sama sekali tidak mau tahu

Ketika Tuhan tidak tahu

Ketika Tuhan benar benar tidak tahu

Mari menyatu

Aku mencintaimu seutuhnya.

Suatu Malam..

Begitulah.. uap dari teko mengepul, meningatkan selera kafein yang tercium dari cangkir kopi hitam yang dilarutkan Tak ada yang bisa membuatkan kopi untuk seorang perempuan di pagi hari. Apalagi malam hari, kecuali dirinya sendiri.. Untuk ini, Tuhan adalah perempuan penikmat kopi yang membuat kopinya sendiri.   hahaha.. itu saja sebenarnya.

KUTIPAN KUTIPAN

4 Februari 2009 Bandung diguyur hujan, matahari kalah telak, dia bersembunyi dibalik awan. Kini hujan menguasai Bandung..sebuah mobil melaju pelan di sebuah jl daerah utara bandung, sang pengendara seorang lelaki dengan dandanan necis, rapih, tengah menyetir sembari menelephone pacarnya.. konsentrasinya dibagi dua. Maka dia memelankan laju mobilnya.

“hallo sayang aku sebentar lagi nyampe’’ katanya sembari tersenyum

“hah?? Emang udah nyampe mana??’’ jawab suara disebrang.

“dago..“

“ih jahaaattt!! Kok cepet banget???“

“Bandung – Jakarta kan cuman dua jam.. kan kamu sendiri yang nyuruh aku cepet- cepet“

“Jahat kamu... harusnya kabarin aku dulu pas kamu di tol, aku kan bisa siap siap dulu, aku belum mandi“

“pantes, pantes ada bau bau aneh dari tadi di sekitar dago nih.. hhihihihi..“

“ih jahat!“

“Gak lah sayang.. keledeiku mau mandi atau enggak teteup cantik dan manis kok.“

“Hhihihi.. bisa aja dasar kebo gombal!“

“tapi kalo belum mandi cantiknya jadi ditambah...“

“ditambah??”

“iya, ditambah bau, ditambah keringat, ditambah daki.. hahahahah..“

“dasaaaarrr!! Jahaaaaatttttt!

“ya udah, gih mandi.. nanti acara kangen-kangenannya keganggu lagi.. hihihi...“

“siap bos kebo!!!! Emmuah...“

“Emmuah“

“eh bentar bentar jangan ditutup dulu! Kita jadinya mau kemana??“

“hmm... aku mau culik kamu ke Lembang“

“ih maen culik culik anak orang wew..“

“Hahahha... tenang kita lihat, anak ini bakalan diculik dan disekap tanpa perlawanan, ditambah orang tuanya bakalan dengan senang hati anaknya diculik“

“oh yah? Hahaha..gak papa deh kalo yang nyulik pangeran kebo tampan jauh jauh dari Jakarta.. hihihi.. pulangnya jangan kemaleman ya.. mamah bisa ngamuk, nanti kamu diblokir datang kesini..hihihi..“

“tenang pacarmu ini bakal pasang trik lobi lobi yang udah disiapin dari Jakarta“

“ih dasar! penculikan berencana.“

“Hahahaha..“

“Hahahha...“

“Aku mandi ya..“

“Iya...“

“Love youuuuuuuuuu..”

“Love youuuuuuu...”

Pembicaraan berakhir, sebelum sampai tujuan, sang lelaki dengan mobil menepi di sebuah minimart.. mobil itu terparkir, sang pengendara keluar dan pikirannya masih berbunga bunga, tawanya masih tersungging, Bandung memang penuh cinta.. hujan menurunkan jutaan cinta dari langit. Dibelinya sebuah minuman, ketika keluar dari minimart sebuah suara seorang perempuan memanggil-manggil ke arahnya dari jauh..

“Yudha....“

It is about tea, it is about me..

I am tea, a green tea not an orange juice

It is interesting to know me, am I a green tea or an orange juice?

I used to think that I am an orange juice but I was not. It is a problem of growth and plantation to know. I am a tea drinks tea, I am an orange in the grey color, I am mixed the both of white and black, I am different. God created me in indefinite and unique mixture, it is such an honor for me to see something not the same as what everyone sees, to feel the emotion same as her the red apple feels. You are green apple, bittersweet. I prefer green things than red things; it is too sweet, and too visible to show my self in reds. I won’t call as bewitched because being too visible is not my natural way to get the enchantment of you. I prefer tea not coffee, it is too dark to show my self, so I am here, in the liquid thing filled my cup. Tea. Warmth and toast. I pour you tea from my pot. I wait you to fill the sugar or creamer. I am still waiting…

Coffee. How black and thick your coffee is? It represents your heart. What kind of coffee do you like? It represents your personality. But I do not care what kind of coffee I drink. I drink coffee to remember you then forget you. I prefer tea.

Prayer

PRAYER

I am the wandering of spinning earth

I am the suspicious mind of angel

I am the darkness with spotlight

I am not a woman, man obscurity

I am not sure I am a human

I go down through the ground

I lay down beneath the sky

I feel God jiffy

I draw my life wet like rain

I vanish a love invisibly quite pounding heart hidden chest

I interminably think of God

I am your sign to your life

Amid your happiness

Beneath your sadness

Above your pray

Let it flow baby… let it blow..

I am your river… I am your flow…

Let it go

Let it be..

Let me be..

Prayer

Pray for our lives…

I got it from Pursuit of Happyness..

HOPE YOU’LL  ENJOY THIS.

Once there was a bull trapped by the bushes in the edge of the cliff, he might be fall by smooth movement and then died. The trapped bull prayed to God to save his life.

 Then came another bull saw the trapped bull and said:

“Hey… watchout, I’ll help you..” said the bull offering help

But the trapped bull shocken the bull by saying

“Don’t help me!!! Go! Just go! I know God will help me”

So the bull which tried to help, went away..

Several minutes later came another brown big bull saw the trapped bull. He said to the trapped bull with worried nerving voice…

“ Are you ok?”

“You must be stucked there for a long time, let me help you..”

That brown big bull approached the trapped bull, tried to pull the trapped bull up escaping the bushes.

But the trapped bull said:

“ stay away..!! stay away from me! I am waiting for God, I know He will help me!!”

So the big brown bull went away sighing…

Finally the trapped bull fell down and died. His spirit met The God, he said angrily to God:

“God, why didn’t you come to help me?!!?”

God answered him sternly.

“ I have sent you two bulls to help you dummy silly BULLSHIT!!!!!”

Netbook perdana

Entah mengapa saya hanya butuh menulis sore ini. Sudah satu tahun saya tidak seintensif sebelumnya dalam menuangkan pemikiran atau perasaan dalam sebuah tulisan. Sebenarnya  saya juga tidak punya bahan pemikiran apa apa untuk ditulis, sama sekali tak terbersit sedikit pun apa yang harus saya tulis, tentang apa, mengenai apa, sekuat apapun saya mengernyitkan dahi tak ada bahan menarik apapun dalam benak untuk dituliskan yang datang sebagai inspirasi. Yang saya tahu hanya bahwa sore ini saya merasa amat sangat ingin menulis, namun yang tersaji dalam otak hanya sekedar semilir angin sejuk, siang yang siap mundur, malam yang tengah maju dan sebuah perasaan dan pikiran kosong tanpa beban tersapu ditiup angin sore barangkali.

Sore pada Jumat yang tenang di Februari damai,

Sebenarnya ada satu alasan mengapa tangan saya begitu gatal untuk mengubah tekanan yang diberikan jari jari secara simultan dengan otak pada tuts tuts keyboard menjadi huruf huruf yang teratur memebentuk kalimat utuh yang merambat menjadi paragraf paragraf menggerumut massive dalam layar netbook mungil merek lokal yang pasti akan kelelahan membiarkan dirinya akan saya perlakukan dengan intensitas yang mungkin dia tak bisa tanggung sebagai ciptaan yang tercipta mungil.. J YA, sebuah karya mungil hitam mempunyai layar mungil dan mesin mesin mungil di dalamnya yang baru saya beli hari kemarin, kamis 24 Februari yang tak sabar saya otak atik, saya permainkan dan saya gunakan hingga saya puas. Semoga sebuah kepuasan tidak membuahkan kerusakan pada si mungil yang saya namai Io.

Welcome ioooooooooo....

A Dream to Realize

What do you want to be in the future? When this question comes up and given to me in every occasion and probably given in every different opportunity in my long life, the first answer would appear in my mind is always be “I must be an author in the future” and then come the second answer to substitute the first one “I got to be a journalist, travelling around the world to gain the information”; the first and the second answer  are interconnected and complete one to each other, I can write everything I can write like novels, short stories, poems, autobiography and the like while accomplishing the job as a journalist. But the two answers is not proper to focus an achievement, I have to have a dream, and must be one fixed dream to focus on, which one is the very best preference and proper to represent my future. Or scarcely, I will not even acquire any of the two dreams I dream in my entire life.

To write something like future is a subtle chain hard to arrange and predict, especially a person who is tangled and confused by given one simple question about his future and answered the question with two unconvinced answers in his mind, like me. The omen of dreams come true is not meteorology to weather forecast which has its conditions to predict the real weather will happen in a place. To talk about dream is to talk about the person who dreams a dream (future), the problem is that I have many dreams and desires for future, such a temporal “wanna be” to be a singer, author, announcer, celebrity, actor, reporter, MC, traveler etc. It must be self-inquiring to answer such above, Am I clever enough to be a journalist? Are the stories I wrote interesting enough to read? Does my voice thrill someone when I sing a song? And sums appear like a hard rain in the brain.

Future is also retrospective to beheld, what the history made by the person so the person is proper to be what he or she wants to be and it got to be achievement along life, educational background, habits, environment, hobbies and of course the abilities to buffer the dreams come true. From all over dreams I mentioned above, one that has been proved is to be an author. And according to my ability to write, correspondence to friends’ opinion about the stories I have written, Nabilla Ummusakinah a friend whom I believe has a good sense of reading, always encouraging me to continue writing, she always wait for my next story, and she is not the only one who give such opinion, so the first answer about being author is proper enough for being true. Beside that I have a constant sharing with the popular writer like Dewi Dee Lestari, Fahd Djibran, and Agus Sarjono via facebook and email. Then being an author is my bright future.

Life is about moving achieving and decaying finally, and to get through of my dream to be an author all I need is a natural requirements and conditions of being it. After formulating this article then musing some of the kindred conditions that an author has to have for writing, the first of all in being the great author such Pramoedya Ananta Toer, Dewi Dee Lestari, and Elizabeth Gilberth all I need is to enrich my knowledge about everything, because an author has to know everything so he or she could write everything without any unknowing limitation to write, to get this I have to read, to watch, to feel and to ask, then come the second one, it is about enriching vocabularies, especially if I want to write in foreign language such English, for the third one I have to be so well know to the circumstance where I live, great compassion, intuition, critical minded, compulsively controlled, and able to make very well social connection to my mind and my heart, and for the last is writing itself, to practice again and again, striving to write what I feel, think and see. With those great processes I convince that I could realize my dream to be an author. I am young, so god damn young and I have all my passion of hot blooded young spirit to realize the dream of being more than my favorite authors in the future. And if it is imagination, my words would make it come true. J